One Million Second Chances
by brett118
Summary: Happens after, “Hello, Goodbye”. Max is given a second chance to put things straight with Logan after an ex-manticore Doctor helps her get rid of the virus. But has Logan moved on?


One Million Second Chances  
  
Summary: Happens after, "Hello, Goodbye". Max is given a second chance to put things straight with Logan after an ex-manticore Doctor helps her get rid of the virus. But has Logan moved on?  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing except one imaginary character. Cause if I did own, I'd make sure the virus never existed.  
  
A/N: First time fanfic writer so I hope you guys like the story. I am much more comfortable writing transcript style so please put up with my mistakes which I'm sure is plenty. Had no one to edit it for me. Go easy on the reviews please. Thanks.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Max's apartment, morning  
  
I was on the phone since whatever, looking out of the window, when Original Cindy walked in.  
  
"Boo, you listenin' to lover boy's answering machine again?" she asked.  
  
I nodded. What else can I do? I miss his voice...I would just love to talk to him and to hear his sweet voice but...I can't. This is the best thing to do. Just let him move on...I just can't...I miss everything about him, especially his voice. It's the way he says my name. 'Max', it would be so light and swift and dreamy.  
  
I threw myself on the couch and hugged my knees as Cindy sat by me stroking my hair. It's been four days since he called...because I asked him not to call anymore. I guess he had moved on.  
  
"Look you didn't give him a choice. You did what you thought was best, but Cindy..."  
  
Our conversation was cut short as the beeper went off and a smile returned to my face. He didn't forget me after all!  
  
"Speak of the sugga daddy! Go answer it."  
  
"Wait, this is not Logan's number...it's Dr Carr! Oh my God, something must be wrong with Logan!! Give me the phone!"  
  
I did take the phone but I couldn't even dial the number. Oh my God, don't let anything happen to Logan. Answer, answer...  
  
"Doc it's me. Is Logan ok?"  
  
"Hey Max, er...Logan I'm sure he's fine. Actually that's what I wanted to ask you. Is he enjoying his vacation back with the Cale family?"  
  
I froze then and there. Logan went back to the family estate? That's why he didn't call. He's not even in this sector. Guess he took my advice.  
  
"Hello? Max? You there?"  
  
"What...Yes Doctor."  
  
"Anyway, when he calls you, could you just tell him that the reports he requested for is ready."  
  
So Logan Cale, the love of my life, actually moved on. It actually felt a weird kind of alone. All the time, I pushed him away and then once in my life, he pushed me away. Guess that's love, you crash and burn...  
  
I hadn't realizes that I had fallen sleep moping about him until someone knocked on the door and it's not everyday that visitors come to see me, except maybe White to drag my transgenic ass back to Manticore. Maybe it's Logan!  
  
Max rush to open the door but is soon disappointed to find that it's not Logan but a woman she has never seen before. She surveyed her from top to bottom.   
  
She took off her glasses and spoke, "I'm looking for Mrs. Linda Eastman?"  
  
Linda Eastman! That's the name I was under when I got shot!  
  
"Who wants to know?" I asked trying so hard to cover my fear.  
  
"Someone who needs to meet Mrs. Linda Eastman...or X545..."  
  
I grabbed before she told the whole neighborhood and shoved her on to the wall.  
  
"Wacha' name?" "Kay." "You Manticore?" "Was." "How do I know you..." "Are telling the truth? Don't you think White will be here right now to spill your guts if I'm from that hellhole? Besides, if I wanted to kill you, I would have done this!"  
  
With that, she grabbed me from my arm and threw me across the hall. I was too surprised to do or say anything, and I knocked my shoulder hard on the floor. One wrong move could send me crashing through the wall. As it turned out, she was a Doctor at Manticore. About a month back in Washington, a friend of hers leaked a file of one Mrs. Linda Eastman. DNA absolutely perfect but with an unidentified virus flowing in her bloodstream.  
  
She knelt before me and neared her face to mine before exclaiming, "I came to cure it!"  
  
"There's no cure, Manticore said so. So how can you cure it?"  
  
She came closer still and in a barely audible voice whispered into my ear the words I never thought I'd hear.  
  
"Because I created the virus!"  
  
It seemed the virus was initially for military purposes. Helped to identify enemies and assassinate them. It was a part of a perfect soldier. But it fell into the wrong hands of Manticore.  
  
"I'm sorry this happened to you and to 'Eyes only'." She said empathetically.  
  
"What's the catch?"  
  
"There's no catch Max. I'm going to save my soul. I'm setting things right for all the transgenics I screwed with. No catch."  
  
"I still don't trust you. This could be a ploy to get 'Eyes only'."  
  
Kay turned to me and smirked before saying, "Don't you mean Logan Cale? I already know who 'Eyes only' is Max. If I wanted him dead, Logan would be six feet under right now. You're right, you can't trust me. But trust what's in your heart. I will try my best but I can't cure you by force. Oh and don't worry about the cost. Manticore will take care of it. What's the government going to do? Sue me for stealing money from a non-existent account of a non-existing project. Besides, I died in a terrible accident. Really, they even found my body. Call me Max if you are interested in the offer."  
  
She handed me a number and started to walk away.  
  
"You have no barcode!" I said.  
  
"I'm one of those natural freaks, my father's daughter." With that, she winked at me and disappeared.  
  
First thought on my mind was to run to Logan. Only thing was he wasn't even in this sector! I had to tell someone of it! Jam Pony!  
  
Alec walks joins them near the lockers. Max is trying to talk to Cindy while Alec, at the same time is talking to Max.   
  
"Max, buddy! The person I really admire!"  
  
"Not now Alec! I found some one..." "Good for you. Now you know the passport you gave me, I sort of need to produce in the court next week and..."  
  
Max and Cindy are talking with out taking any notice of Alec Max & Alec at the same time  
  
"It's finally going to be over. I found a cure for the virus!" "You know it's funny cause I sold the passport!"  
  
"WHAT?" Cindy at Max. "WHAT?" Max at Alec.  
  
I looked at Alec with disbelief. At that Moment, I had this strong urge to inflect extreme pain on him!  
  
"You found a cure?" Cindy said as she hugged me. "Will you help me get a new passport?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"You will!" Alec hugged Cindy and me. I pushed him aside and took him by the collar.  
  
"I mean yes I found a cure and no I'm not savin' your ass again!"  
  
Max tells Cindy of the encounter she had while Alec tries very hard to get her attention.   
  
"Great...now the passport I need it, just give a ring to Logan and..."  
  
"Alec, stop it! You always screw up! You idiot! That cost $2500!!"  
  
"Calm down, there's a vein popin' out of your head!" he said as he pointed to my forehead. This was typical, pure Alec behavior!  
  
"Max I'll make the payment, double it if I have to. Mention the passport while you suck face with him. Besides it's an excuse to meet Logan again. I know you two haven't been the best of friends for whatever reason. Take me up on the offer?"  
  
I thought for a while. If Logan had in fact moved on, I didn't want to pull him back into this dreadful world I live in. But if he still loved me...I can't believe it but it is a good idea.  
  
"You are so damn lucky! Normal I'm really sick! Alec will do extra rounds everyday till I'm back. Right buddy?"  
  
I put my hand around Alec and gave him a nice pat on the back.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Outside Cale family estate  
  
Living the high life! They lost half the fortune and still going strong. Maybe one day I could be the mistress of this house. You know, all American dream. But first, I just got to find out if Logan's up for the role.  
  
Max rings the bell and is allowed in by Bits  
  
"Max, what a wonderful surprise. Britney will be so thrilled to see you!"  
  
Look happy. Smile Max. That's right. "Hey Bitsy, nice to see you too. Is Logan home?"  
  
"Yes, he's at the study with the lawyer. Room on the left."  
  
Max knocks on the door  
  
I knocked on the door and did not even wait for an answer. I was afraid to. If I don't go in now, if I hesitate, I know I will back down. I opened the door and looked in. There he was looking charming as ever. His unshaven look, cute glasses, his dimples and a crisp white shirt. The face I knew. But it hardened when he saw me.  
  
"Hey Logan."  
  
Without greeting me, Logan turned to the gentleman next to him.  
  
"Thanks Greg. Just give me a ring when the paperwork is complete."  
  
Tying to hide my feeling under my usual wit, I asked him whom he was planning to sue. "The father the son and the Holy Ghost on count of a life that sucks," he replied never moving from his place behind the desk or even looking at me as he continued, "What can I do for you Max?"  
  
"I need some 'Eyes Only' assistance about Alec."  
  
"Why else would you come?"  
  
Suddenly, unknown to him, he locked eyes with me. It lasted a second maybe even hour but I don't know...  
  
"He screwed with his passport. He needs to produce it next week at court. And he doesn't have it. I was wondering if you could call your guy and see what he can do. I need it by tomorrow. Really can't..."  
  
"Really can't lose him. Right." Logan completed my sentence for me but that was not what I meant to say.  
  
Logan looked out of the study window. I was crumbling inside wanting so much to hold him, to tell him how much I love him but all in vain. A brief silence occurred before I was composed enough to speak again.  
  
"Vacation ha?"  
  
"Yes. Need to clear my head. Get my priorities straight and stop daydreaming. Anyway, I'll send the passport and the bill to you."  
  
He turned and looked at me with a dreadful mix of contempt and sadness. I made him that way. That day I intended to steal a vase and then I ended up stealing his whole life.  
  
Bitsy who wanted to know if I'd stay for dinner broke our silence again. But before I could answer, Logan informed that I would not be.  
  
After Max leaves, Logan turns and lets out a sigh  
  
"Can you be any ruder? She came to see you Logan..."  
  
"Stay out of this Bits," he said as he watched Max get on her ninja, "she came to ask if I can help Alec. That's why she came. Not because of me and I really don't want to do anything with him."  
  
"Then why are you helping?" Bits argued with Logan," It's because of Max. Because you LOVE Max. You know what, it's your life."  
  
"Exactly my point."  
  
At crash  
  
"Really, roller boy said that?! He needs to be spanked for tat!" Cindy poured herself another beer and sat next to me.  
  
"He's movin' on. I can't drag him back here. Virus or no virus."  
  
"Whatever! I still can't believe he swallowed that you and pretty boy were...you know. I guess that's love. You lose common sense. What about the virus?"  
  
That night, Max goes to the Penthouse  
  
What about the virus? After thinking about it all night long, I decided to get rid of it. Who knows maybe when I'm fifty he might finally forgive me and I can shake his hand.  
  
"Forever eyes. Dark. Somebody's angel." That's what he first wrote about me. I sat on his couch, hugging his journal, and looked around. Everything smelled like him, felt like him. And if I close my eyes really tight and listen, I can hear him say my name. "Max", he would say as if he had known me forever. I turned the page and looked at the last poem:  
  
"Lost in a raging fire for thy love that never will beseech mine, As a lost child, as a sapling yearning for light, is that I? Is that I who look forth from a reflection, all torn. For what? You? Do I wither, yonder from thy memory, for someone else? As snow beneath the ground to spring? Or do you in your pride take pleasure in my rapine? For the pain of love lost shall kill all within me. Who gave Thee right to kill my feelings, Strangle my emotions, with thy naked hands? Hands I wish that would embrace mine. Valiant in deed! Cruelty in heart! You! Loath to love now, immune to passion ...I lay. Do I rot thinking of you as a dog to loyalty by its master's grave? Drown in a moor... Or do I stand forth and face and dwell? Oh how could I? Why do I still love Thee? With the pain you pieced heart with as a sward a knight? Yes, I do...in an instant that I love, in a second as dewfall from a fern, My loathing for you pass. I love you again... as a flightless wing yearning to fly, I yearn to love Thee. Yes I love you."  
  
I reached for the phone and dialed Kay's number. I'm going to beat this bitch!  
  
Next thing I know was waking up on Logan's couch, drool and all to find Logan sitting across me.  
  
"It's not nice to read other people's journals," he said as he held up his journal.  
  
"If it's about me..."  
  
"It's not about you Max. Here's the passport."  
  
With that, he threw the passport on the coffee table, went to the door and opened it, inviting me to go.  
  
"See you Max."  
  
Logan closed the door and rested his forehead on it. He hated this pretending business but he knew he had to let go of Max. Her happiness came first. He walked over to the couch and ran his fingers over the dent Max's head had made and feels a liquid on his fingers.   
  
"Oh no! She drooled on the couch. Oh God no! Not the virus!"  
  
Logan ran to the sink and started washing his hand. He reached for his phone and dialed Asha  
  
Max's apartment  
  
I went home to find Kay already to go with the cure. She asked me if I had told Logan...how could I when he can hardly spend a second with me.  
  
She took a syringe and injected it into me for a blood sample.  
  
"Why the face? You and Logan broke up or something?"  
  
"We were never like that."  
  
"Of cause not," she said in a sarcastic tone, "You two worry about each other to death then inject yourselves with a cocktail some lab nerd cooked up hoping it'll cure the love bug defying all odds, overcoming every obstacle, making every sacrifice. Yes strictly business."  
  
"It's never easy for us."  
  
"It's never easy for any of us." Kay looked at me with disappointment. "Manticore, that was easy. It's the same thing: no responsibility, no thinking and no emotions. Being human, that's tough. Not only do you have your feelings but you have to hold someone else's too. It's painful, it's wonderful, frightening, exciting, and it's peaceful and most of all it's what you make of it. Life is what you want it to be. I know you love him, or you wouldn't have the virus now."  
  
"What do you mean?" I whispered to myself.  
  
"He antibody you gave Logan when he first got the virus? It works both ways. It was made first of all to cure you when you returned from the mission. But you gave it to Logan. No one expected you to comeback and get it."  
  
She laid a comforting hand on my shoulder and looked straight into my eyes.  
  
"Max, everything in this world happens for a reason. It's how you get through that counts. This virus, it didn't pull you and Logan apart, don't you think it brought you two together? You fought so hard and now you let go thinking it's the best thing to do. When it actually might not be. The world is round Max. No matter how much you run, you're running in circles and will end up at the same painful place. You should really talk to him. He has a right to know. He deserves to know."  
  
He has a right to know? He has a right to know that I do in fact love him but afraid to say so. He has a right to know that while he loath me, I loath myself even more for what I am doing. He has the right to know that I have a second chance to make it right but I'm giving that chance to him. Maybe he has a right to know. That was a plan. I'll tell Logan. I'll tell him everything. The virus, Alec...us, how we can finally be together. I know I wanted to let him go to a better life, lesser complications but a part of me wants to know if we ever had a chance. Who knows, maybe I'll find out if we were 'like that' after all!  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Max goes to Logan's apartment and finds the door ajar. She hears Logan and Asha talking.   
  
"You ok?"  
  
"Ya. I guess so. Asha Listen, I'd appreciate if Max doesn't find out about us. Not now...not ever."  
  
"Us?"  
  
"About the trip."  
  
They sat quiet for a while as Max's face dropped.   
  
"New York?" I heard Asha ask but I was never prepared for what came next. I never knew Logan was ever capable of saying something like that.  
  
"Ya NY," he replied, "Far away from all this. Far away from transgenics, Manticore and Max."  
  
"Most importantly Max?" Asha inquired in surprise.  
  
"Most importantly her."  
  
For the first time in my life, my legs gave away making me fall on the floor. My chest felt tight and the words "Most importantly Max" echoed in my mind and heart. I found the answer to my question. He hated the very sight of me.  
  
She stumbled up and left and saw the love of her life for the last time. Meanwhile, Asha and Logan continue their conversation.   
  
Asha went over to Logan and sat beside him. "Thought you were madly in love with her."  
  
"I AM! I am," he said as he buried his face in his hands, "and I always will be if I don't go from her sight. She doesn't feel the same about me. She loves someone else and all I do is give her pain. The more I see that face the more I want her and that's something that cannot happen. I love her very much Asha and if her happiness depended on me being no part of her life, then that's the way it should be."  
  
"You gonna say goodbye to her?"  
  
"No, I'll just go to Jam Pony on my way to catch a glimpse of her for the last time."  
  
On top of the space needle  
  
That night, Kay finished the anti-virus and gave it to me. Not much to celebrate for simply because Logan had moved on. He said he needed to go away from all this, especially me.  
  
"Well Logan, here's one for the road." I whispered to the wind and I injected myself with the cure. I sat there wondering of all that happened between me and Logan, all that could have happened and decided to leave all petty dreams on top of the space needle and go back to the world I knew. The way I was. No attachments, no promises and most importantly, no Logan.  
  
Jam pony  
  
Virus is gone...probably Logan too. It's back to square one, back to where I started. Which is a good thing...I think. Everything was normal until Original Cindy informed me that Alec went to thank Logan for the passport! I had to hurry before Logan learns the truth!  
  
Penthouse  
  
"Hey buddy."  
  
"Hey." Logan greeted Alec with a cold uninviting voice that he surprised himself.  
  
"What's with the bag? Movin out or something?" Alec inquired as he spotted a gym bag on the floor.  
  
"Something like that."  
  
"Listen I came to thank you."  
  
"To thank me. For?"  
  
"For the passport and all." Alec stretched out his hands to heaven, " Cleared of all counts of murder, I'm a free man. You probably did it for Max not me. Anyway talking about Max..."  
  
"Max", that was the name Logan dreads to hear because every time he heard that name, he felt as if a knife stabbed his very heart.  
  
He cleared his throat and continued, "I don't wish to talk about her."  
  
"No I was just gonna say that you know she's my kind and so the love deal thing..."  
  
"Alec it's ok, you don't have to explain your love life with Max."  
  
Alec froze where he was and processed what Logan just said. "With Max? My love life WITH Max? Logan, She to me is nothing..."  
  
"How dare you say that? She loves you so much and..." Logan burned with fury and launched himself at Alec.  
  
He swore and threw a punch at Alec as he fell through the partition glass more from shock than pain because he didn't feel any pain. Logan pulled him by the shirt and this time Alec did fight back sending Logan flying across the room. Luckily, Max comes running through the door.   
  
"What? What are you doing? Are you nuts?"  
  
I pulled Alec up and started to tug him towards the door. That's when I saw Logan getting up on his hands and knees. He was bleeding from his nose and there was a cut above his left eye. How much I wanted to run to him and kiss every bruise on his face. But I couldn't. I had to deal with Alec first.  
  
"Alec outside!"  
  
"Ya but..."  
  
"Now!"  
  
I turned to look at Logan and if it was ever humanly possible, my breath left me then and all I could do was to whisper his name.  
  
"Just go Max...and take your lover boy with you!"  
  
As I closed the door behind me, I heard him shout that Alec and I deserved each other. Oh Logan, only if you knew the pain I am going through.  
  
I pushed Alec into the elevator and even before the door closed, Alec started to defend himself.  
  
"Before you kick my ass I'd like to explain that I did not hit him first..."  
  
"I know Alec."  
  
"Cause I'm like going to thank..."  
  
"I know."  
  
"And the guy pounce on me like... And some deal about us..."  
  
I closed my eyes and with one breath exclaimed, "I told Logan we were going out."  
  
"WHAT?" he yelled as I tried to calm him down.  
  
"That was the only way." I replied.  
  
"Only way to what? Kill him through heartbreak?"  
  
"The only way I can let him out of this hellhole. He's better off without me Alec. He said it himself. It's better if he hates me."  
  
Alec looked at me in a mocking fashion and widened his eyes. "Really?" he finally said, "He said that? The guy who attacked a X5 because he thought we are going out doesn't love you? Look I don't know what's got into you but I'm not playing this cruel joke on him. You're gonna go in there and tell him the truth or I will."  
  
Alec turned and hit the button to Logan's Penthouse and I pressed the door open button.  
  
"You saw the packed bags? He's going way to New York today...with Asha..." my voice just gave up on me at that moment and in a barely audible voice I continued, "I think they are together."  
  
"WHAT! Asha? Max, are you sniffing glue or something?"  
  
Alec hits 'Door Close' button  
  
"I heard them talking this morning!"  
  
Max hits 'Door Open'  
  
"You are so mistaken Max!"  
  
Alec hits 'Door Close' button  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
Max hits 'Door open'  
  
"Because Asha and I are going out!"  
  
Both of us just stood there gaping at each other when Mrs. Moreno got into the lift.  
  
"You kids going up?"  
  
Simultaneously Alec said 'Yes' and I said 'No'. Mrs. Moreno just said that it was wonderful and was trying to figure out which button to press.  
  
"But...this morning..." my reason was cut short by Alec.  
  
"No buts Max. You misunderstood and he misunderstood for the simple reason that you two can't live without each other and the thought of being with someone else just kills you both! When are you gonna get it through your transgenic head that you love Logan and when you love someone you don't run away, you fight to keep it alive. He tried to hit me Max. I'm a transgenic! I could have snapped his neck into two. He took the risk."  
  
"He doesn't want to see me anymore." I replied as Alec threw his hands up in frustration.  
  
Mrs. Moreno finally finds the button and the elevator goes up  
  
"Of cause he won't. You hurt him. You lied to him. You told you loved someone else. He probably felt used and if I was Logan, I wouldn't wanna see your face for the simple reason that you would never be mine. But if I were you, I'd go there and tell Logan the truth and let him decide his own life.  
  
At the mention of Logan's name, Mrs. Moreno turned.  
  
"Oh that boy is so sweet. I'm going to miss him now that he's gone."  
  
Alec and I turned sharply at her and asked her when at the same time.  
  
"Oh he just went to his car just now."  
  
"Mrs. Moreno, we're going down!" Alec said as he took her hand.  
  
I crept through the half open elevator doors and ran to the car park but there was no car, no Logan. He had already gone. I ran out to the road but Logan was long gone.  
  
"Let's go find him then. He's obviously headed to he airport"  
  
"No let's just...Alec, you go back...I want to stick around, sometime alone."  
  
I slowly made my way back to Logan's door and turned the knob. I stepped inside to dead silence. I thought I'll find Logan sitting on the couch but all I found was emptiness. He had gone. He had already gone thinking that I never loved him.  
  
I looked around the penthouse one last time and fixed my eyes on the window I broke when I first met him. I came crashing into his life and ended it just the same. I remember everything about him and this house has so many memories. I can remember days when I cascade in while he sat at his computer. Every time there was a black out, Logan would bring out his candles and his wine and we would sit right here till dawn. It was so beautiful when it rained and it was amazing how Logan and I could just sit and say nothing at all. But then everything was taken away because of my freaking transgenic life. All of that seemed like a story I read somewhere. At this point, it was hard to believe that I actually touched such a precious and beautiful person. I made my way towards the front door and stood there. I knew that when I step out and close this door would close a chapter in my life. Logan deserves to be free. That's why I decided against going to find him.  
  
"I love you Logan Cale...I always will." I whispered to the dead room.  
  
In one swift motion I threw open the door and to my utter surprise, there he stood. My Logan...  
  
Logan stood dumbfound. He looked at her. Her long dark hair dancing in the wind framing her angelic face, the face he loved. Inside, he was dying to cup that face in his hands. And that's when he noticed a red laser coming form the opposite building. Someone was aiming at Max. He can't remember if he shouted, he can't even remember if he was able to speak at all but he remembers pushing her away amidst the sound of glass shattering, shielding her as he felt a burning sensation on his chest. Collapsed in her arms, every drop of strength drain off him, everything was a blur...everything except for her voice, crying out for help.   
  
Logan tried so hard to keep his eyes open. This was the way he wanted to die, looking into her eyes. Fighting hard to open his eyes, he raised his hand to her cheek. Her cheeks were wet with tears; tears for him he thought and a faint smile appeared on his face. 'Maybe she does love me', the last thought on his mind. He tried to speak unsuccessfully several times but then he finally managed to say the words he longed to hear from her, "...I...love you...."  
  
Logan, with all his strength, raised his head and placed a kiss on Max's forehead and was lifeless.   
  
From the top opposite building, White watches all that pass holding the gun. He swore at his missed chance and turned around to find Kay. She punches him on to the floor and holds him down   
  
"Hello Brother," she said.  
  
"Well if it isn't the avenging Angel. What brings you here?"  
  
"Can you remember Ames," She asked him as she removed her glove and placed a naked hand on his neck "how I was born? Father cloned me...from you so we basically have the same DNA pattern. Now can you remember me developing a virus that passes through touch and kills? The one you gave X5452?"  
  
It sinks into White what she probably injected herself with a DNA based virus to kill him and he starts to struggle.   
  
"It's too late my brother. Fe'nos tol."  
  
With that, Kay kisses her brother's forehead and collapse on him.   
  
Chapter 4  
  
At the Hospital.   
  
"So he's gonna be fine?" I asked Dr Carr for the tenth time.  
  
"Yes. He was shot with a type of tranquilizer that causes temporary paralysis. If it were meant for you Max, it would have taken about an hour to come to effect. But for Logan it was instantaneous."  
  
"Tranquilizer? Really? That guy was stuck up. What do you want to tranquilize in him?" Alec piped up, trying to cheer me.  
  
Dr Carr looked at me with a concerned face, "Whoever it was Max wanted you alive."  
  
"It meant for me. Probably White." I paused and looked at the man lying on the hospital bed. "He's really gonna be ok?"  
  
"He's stable...even though you touched him."  
  
"Sort of found a cure for the virus."  
  
A smile instantly returned to Dr Carr's face. "Logan must be ecstatic about that. All that man can talk about is you. Max this, Max that! So I guess you'll be moving to New York with him too?"  
  
I explained to Dr Carr that Logan doesn't know about the virus being gone and he's moving on. He doesn't necessarily agree with me but asked me to stick around for a while and find out what he thinks. "He'll be up in about three hours and the first thing he'll ask for is you." He said.  
  
I don't think I can really see him now...or ever. All I needed to do as to be few feet from him to cause him harm. Look what I did to him now.  
  
The next day at the hospital, Logan finally gains consciousness.   
  
"Max, Max...where's Max?" Logan shouted as he struggled to get up against Dr Carr. All he could remember was Max being in danger.  
  
"Logan, Logan buddy? Max is fine. She is not hurt in anyway. Relax."  
  
"Where is she? I want to see her!"  
  
Dr Carr looked at Logan and in a low vice replied that she was not here.  
  
Jam pony-Two days after.   
  
"That was Dr Carr, update on Logan." I told Original Cindy.  
  
"It has been wa two days since he woke? An' I guess he wanna see ya." All I could do as an answer was to look at her with my guilty eyes. Cindy shook her head in frustration.  
  
"Max end his misery cause you don't see him now, he's gonna wish for a bullet through his head Boo."  
  
"I...I don't know. I mean this is what I'm talking about. I just get him to trouble and one fine day I'm gonna get him killed!"  
  
Cindy grabbed me by my shoulder and shook me a few times.  
  
"Max, yes or no question. Do you love Logan?"  
  
"But..."  
  
"Yes or no?"  
  
"Yes." I replied.  
  
"Then you have to march in there and tell him the truth. It's his life. So no matter how much it hurts, he needs to know the truth."  
  
That night, I decided to go see Logan in the Hospital and put the record straight and was met by Dr. Carr who looked surprised to see me.  
  
"What brings you here?" he asked.  
  
"I came to see Logan. Is he sleeping?"  
  
The answer I got never shocked me. Deep down inside I knew it would come to this. Logan had been discharged this afternoon because he had wanted to get away from this place.  
  
Space Needle-nine months after  
  
Have you ever felt this felling called emptiness? It is so dark and it forms a gaping hole where love used to be. I lost Logan out of my own acts. I lost him so long ago but the pain is so fresh as if it happened yesterday. Every time I close my eyes, I see that horrific day when I almost lost him. What if it was a bullet? What if the virus wasn't cured? He could have died one way or the other. And that's something I can't live with. But even then, I wish I just knew how he felt. Sometimes the loneliness would be so unbearable that I close my eyes hoping I would die. He was right, being away from each other by choice was worse than being separated by death. Tomorrow will be the second anniversary of the day we met. Last year, we were together. No virus, no complications...no fear. It was the first time we shared a real kiss. It was the first time I looked into his blue eyes and silently admitted that I wanted to be with him. That was the day he told me that we had all the time in the world. What happen to that time? Did I waste all the chances that life gave me? It's so amazing how it now seems like a dream. As if Logan never existed as if I never felt his touch, as if all this was a fairytale...a fairytale that never ended happily ever after.  
  
In the past nine months, I never attempted to call or look for Logan although every part of me wanted to. Logan deserved to be free from me. I guess that was the greatest gift I ever gave him. I sometimes go to the penthouse, which look so different. Furniture all moved and covered. All his books, paintings, computers all gone and what remained was emptiness to remind me of him. We had some wonderful times together. In the past nine months, my mind wondered to those memories. Memories of our first kiss, the first time he stood up alone, the first time he went on my bike. I remember that very well. I had my arms around his waist, holding him tight. Then there's first time we danced...well in our dream...and the dreadful feeling of losing him, which was all too familiar. That's what I'm feeling now. But, it is far better to know he is somewhere alive perhaps with someone else than knowing I killed the poor guy.  
  
Relationship wise, I have one word to say, 'Rafer'! God which part of 'No' doesn't that guy understand. Cindy thinks I should give him a chance and stop moping but Logan is a really though act to follow. No other man in this world would ever mean an ounce of what Logan meant to me. Will you look at that I'm speaking of him in pass tense! If only I could just reverse this whole year, I would do things so differently.  
  
The next day, their anniversary, Max breaks into Logan's penthouse again and goes near the window. She remembers how last year, he surprised her with the exoskeleton. She smiled to herself and whispered, 'Happy anniversary Logan...'  
  
"Happy anniversary Max."  
  
Chapter 5  
  
"Happy anniversary Max." I heard a voice behind me say. At first, I thought that I was hallucinating when I turned to find Logan standing behind me. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move! It was as if my world stopped turning. When I was finally able to speak, all I could say was his name.  
  
"Logan?"  
  
Logan looked at me with the same look of relief and took a step towards me. I ran to him and pressed my lips against his. His hands never left his sides as I hugged him closer. Suddenly Logan pulled away, almost throwing me aside. He looked at me with a stricken face. First thought that came into my mind was the fact that he wanted to get away from me, then why the hell are you kissing him Max?  
  
When it finally sank into me, he was still standing with a vexed look on his face. "Right..."I shook my head and said it more to myself and started to make my way to the door when Logan's scornful laugh stopped me.  
  
Seeing me standing there, he exclaimed, "Why did you stop? Go! I mean that's your trademark right? Don't let me stop you. Go!"  
  
"That's not ..." before I could complete my sentence, Logan cut me off.  
  
"No Max that's exactly what you do. You go away, you leave me and you go away. First time I met you, you ran away! The first time I kissed you, you ran away! The day I wanted to make love to you, you ran away!" he retorted bitterly, "you tell me that's not what you're doing right now!"  
  
I had never seen Logan like this before, he was breading heavily with so much bitterness and anger in him! I felt the tears well up in my eyes and all the pent up anger, frustration and love I had for him poured out.  
  
"You left me Logan! You went off to New York!"  
  
He laughed at my reply and started to pace around. "Do you know why I went off to New York? I went because I couldn't bear to see you with someone else! I went because I wanted you to be happy. You hated the very sight of me once and I couldn't bear that."  
  
"We're not together." And that's all I could utter.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Alec and I, we're not together."  
  
Logan looked at me in confusion. "You broke up?"  
  
I looked into his eyes and I knew that right here, right now I was going to tell him the truth even if it killed me.  
  
"We were never together." I said as I turned my eyes away from him.  
  
"What...I don't..."  
  
Overcoming the fear inside, I looked at him once again and confessed my greatest sin, "I lied to you Logan. I told you that we are going out... to protect you."  
  
"Protect me? From what?" he quipped.  
  
"I did it to protect you from me, from the virus, from Manticore. Logan I..." I moved in to touch him but he swiftly moved away.  
  
He looked at me with saddened eyes, "You lied to me. You broke my sprit! I gave you my heart Max and you broke it!"  
  
"It was better to break your heart than to steal your whole life from you Logan!" I looked at him through my teary eyes.  
  
"You can't have a life without a heart Max. You told me you loved someone else. You lied to me. You reached in and you ripped my heart out. Have you, Max, any idea how MUCH it hurts to know the woman you love is in someone else's arms? Do you have any idea how it feels to close my eyes everyday believing and thinking you were with Alec?" he whispered.  
  
"It was better for you Logan. I couldn't do it. I couldn't take another risk. My decision was to..." he interrupted my sentence as he walked away from me.  
  
"It wasn't your decision to make Max! It was ours! Hell, it was me who'll die."  
  
"And it would be ME who suffer for the rest of my life!" My own tone surprised me and for a minute, the two of us stood in dead silence.  
  
"Why did you punish me for something Manticore did Max?" Logan asked in a soft pleading voice, "why didn't you tell me that the virus was cured?"  
  
I looked at Logan in shock "How do you know about that?"  
  
Logan came back to his soft gentle was and walked towards the window. He looked at me with his blue eyes and replied," Dr Carr told me...and that's why I decided to go away that day itself. Max if you really, truly wanted us to be together, you would have told me that the virus was gone. But you didn't. You hesitated. It was just like the time we got rid of the virus for twelve hours. You hesitated. It just goes to show that maybe you are not in love with me at all."  
  
"Logan..." I stated to protest.  
  
"No, don't say anything. I'm sorry for being so selfish. Hell I'm ten years older to you, I was on a wheelchair and special power was cable hacking." He paused and broke into a grin.  
  
"I did a lot of thinking when I was away and as much as I love you, I think I have to let the fantasy of you go. Max you are a free sprit. I think you deserve much more than me. I miss the way things were...I miss us. Before anything, we were friends. Virus or no virus, we can be that...and I don't think me being in New York can stop it either. You can come visit." Logan looked at me hoping the idea he was trying to convey got through.  
  
He had come to say bye to me, probably forever. "You're moving for good?" I asked.  
  
"Something like that. I came to take care of the penthouse. Besides, I can always continue my 'Eyes-Only' from there, although it will be boring without an in-house cat burglar." Logan looked at me and smiled.  
  
I hurt him so much and yet, he found the strength to forgive. I wanted so badly to stop him and ask him to stay. I wanted so badly to tell him that I loved him, that I wanted to be with him every minute of everyday but he looked so content, so at peace...I can't take that away from him. Logan turned and looked out into the city. I wiped the tears from my face and went to the door. I couldn't speak. I was too tired, too hurt. What if Logan was right? I know I love him but what if I'm afraid to admit so...  
  
"Logan," I said turning around just before I left, "that day when you got shot, you didn't know that the virus was gone but you held my face. Why?"  
  
"Because I would rather die in your arms holding you than being eighty eight years old and never having known how it was to hold you." He replied.  
  
Max goes away  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Two days after. Max's place.   
  
Two day's passed since Logan came and not once did I go to see him, I couldn't. I did spy on him from the opposite building, but it was not the same.  
  
"Mornin' boo." Original Cindy said as she walked into the kitchen. However, all I could say was that perhaps Logan was up too, "because he always gets up early and works out and makes breakfast. You know he always does the best waffles you ever tasted in your life. And he makes the best..." before I can continue Cindy kicked in.  
  
"Pasta tricolore in the whole world. And he folds his undies into perfect squares. Boo I lov'ya but you either go to see him or stop reciting his bio data."  
  
"I can't..." I whispered.  
  
Cindy waked to me and took my hand.  
  
"Boo answer me honestly, every time you look at him, does your heart skip a beat?" she questioned.  
  
"Yes." I replied.  
  
"Is he the last thing on your mind before you go to sleep and first thing in the morning?"  
  
"Always."  
  
Cindy cupped my face with her hands, "Max, if he doesn't love you, he won't even be here right now, he wouldn't even TRY to make this work. He risked his everything to be with you once. He's one of the good guys Max. And if you never really loved him, you would have been over him an' banging with Rafer. You two were made for each other."  
  
"But Logan..." Before I could finish my sentence, there was a knock at the door.  
  
"Delivery for Miss Max Guevara." Came a voice.  
  
Delivery for me? The only thing I planned to get was a bomb from White or something. But when I opened the door, I found the most beautiful bouquet of red roses I had ever seen in my life!  
  
"Oh my God!" I gasped as I took the flowers to my hand.  
  
Cindy widened her eyes at the sight, "someone loves ya tons!"  
  
"Who is it from?" I inquired all amazed.  
  
"Logan that's who!" Cindy replied in an obvious tone.  
  
I touched their soft petals and hugged them. "Oh they are so pure, and soft and beautiful and..."ringing noise "And they are ringing!"  
  
The ringing came from a hand phone attached to the bouquet. I removed it and answered it.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"So do you like the flowers?" asked the familiar voice from the other side. A smile instantly appeared to my face as I mouthed 'Logan' to Cindy.  
  
"Hey," I come back," just got them. Logan, they are so beautiful. It must have cost you a fortune!"  
  
"It's from the family estate. Besides, with the idiot I've been, I need something expensive."  
  
Giggling at his reply, I continued, "had to do something over the top didn't you? Anyway what's the occasion?"  
  
"Just. Can't I send flowers to my favorite girl in the world?"  
  
"Unless there's a motive or a big favor!" I replied.  
  
"If you must know, I know we haven't been much of friends since...since what happened that night and it's almost time for me to go so I was wondering if you'd like to swing by...perhaps give a reason to stay. What do you say?"  
  
Both of us fell silent for a while. No matter how much and how hard Logan and I try to let go, we couldn't do it.  
  
"I'd like that."  
  
"Ok then, I'll see you later. Er Max..."  
  
"Ya?"  
  
"Bring the phone with you!"  
  
At Logan's door.   
  
I thought this over a thousand times, what was I going to tell Logan when I finally meet him. Should I knock or just go in like us used to or say hello or...  
  
Logan suddenly opens the door and looks surprised.   
  
"Hey." Nice Max you meet the man of your dreams, who is still in his pajamas, and you say hey! "Hey yourself." Logan said in somewhat surprised tone, "Thought I heard someone pacing around my door."  
  
"Oh...er...that," think of something Max, "foot fell asleep. You so surprised to see me?"  
  
Logan motioned me to come in, "Ya a bit cause I thought you'd come at night."  
  
Say something intelligent Max, say something intelligent, "Er...I thought I'd drop by before work."  
  
"It's Saturday." He stated.  
  
"Oh...ya...right." Yes Max, dig a hole and hide there!  
  
He was in his tight white tee and a drawstring pants, which hung loose on his hips. Wherever he was, it was evident he worked out.  
  
Logan went into the kitchen as I followed him, "Would you like some breakfast? I made French toast."  
  
I looked at him in amazement, "Why can't you eat cereal like the rest of us? Every mornin' you're all French toast and waffles and bagels and whatever! And why are you still in your cute pajamas?"  
  
"Because it's still 7.30 a.m. and they are not pajamas!" Logan protested as he arranged my plate.  
  
"Do you wear them when you sleep?" I inquired.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then they are pajamas!" I exclaimed.  
  
"No they are NOT!" he insisted, "What do you wear when you sleep?"  
  
"Nothing." My reply made Logan drop the butter knife on the floor. Evidently embarrassed by it, he tried to change the subject.  
  
"Er...I'm gonna have a bath. Help yourself to anything. Oh there are green grapes in the fridge."  
  
I ran to the fridge and took the grapes out. I loved green grapes and without my 'meal ticket', didn't get to eat much during the past nine months.  
  
"You can take them home." He said.  
  
"No way...green grapes are like you." I couldn't believe I just said that out loud! I was hoping he didn't hear it but my answer was obvious when I saw his raised eyebrow.  
  
"Like me?" he questioned, "so does that mean I'm seedless or that you don't want to share me?"  
  
"Very funny Logan Cale! Go have your bath!"  
  
While Logan was in the shower, I had time to think. This is probably the last time I would ever see him, ever get to tell him how I feel. To tell him why I ran away from him so many times. I wondered to the living room where Logan had slept on the couch last night. His suitcase all neatly packed and on top of it, his return ticket to New York and passport. I took his passport to my hand and looked at his photograph.  
  
"That's genuine stuff." Logan said coming up behind me.  
  
I turned and handed it over to him. It has been ages since I saw that face and nothing has changed. He cute glasses, unshaven look and frisky hair. And those fingers, oh his fingers were the sexiest fingers I'd ever seen in my life. How I wish I could entangle my fingers in his. "You must be careful then, who knows when a sly cat burglar might swipe it off you." I replied.  
  
"Actually I'm hoping that will happen." He said taking my hand.  
  
"Logan..."I slid it off his hand and walked away.  
  
"Sorry," he said as he sat on the couch, "I forgot we had a deal. Friends first..."  
  
"Then why are you leaving Logan? You are all ready, all packed up to get away from here. Tell me what I must believe!" I snapped.  
  
Logan closed his eyes for a while and answered, "Max, when we had the virus, there was a chance that you and I could be together."  
  
"That was one in a million chance!" I interrupted.  
  
"But at least we had a chance Max. Now the virus is gone and so is that chance. You told me so. This house itself has so many memories that I can't take a step without thinking of you and I can't, Max, stay here, meet you, everyday and pretend I don't love you. The past nine months, it took me so much to make the pain go away." He stopped for a while not being able to surpass the lump in his throat.  
  
I took that chance to kneel in front of him and hold his hand.  
  
"Does it still hurt?" I whispered.  
  
"No...now it hurts only when I breathe." He answered.  
  
It is then that I knew I must tell him all. He was right. It was not my decision to make it was ours. I plucked up my courage.  
  
"Logan, I got something to tell you...when...when I knew there was a cure for the virus, I came to see you at the estate? Well, I came to see if you'd still have me but, Logan you were moving on and the again when I tried to tell you, I heard you and Asha talking. You said you wanted to get away from me...now I understand why. Logan I need you to understand why I'm doing this. All my life, every single person I love was taken away from me. I hurt them! One day, I would get you killed. My whole transgenic, mutant freak life...Logan I'm an experiment! "  
  
At those words, he lifted is head up and looked deep into my eyes, "You know I would have loved you anyway..."  
  
Not being able to stand the emotional tension, I walked away as Logan let out a huge sigh. I continued, "I was right in the first place. Maybe this was not meant to be and that's why everything we do has some obstacle and one day, I might lose you."  
  
He stood up and threw his hands up in frustration. "Did you ever think Max of the fact that through every obstacle and every opportunity we missed to tell each other how we feel, a new one arose? God gave us so many second chances. I was willing to take it. I was willing to give my whole life away to spend a second with you. I was willing to die knowing that in this life I loved you. But you always pushed me away. You tell me that this love is not worth going through, then why..."  
  
Logan's telephone begins to ring  
  
"Let the machine get that." Logan said.  
  
Voice on the machine: Mr. Cale, it's Grant. I need you to confirm your flight details Sir...  
  
I saw Logan's face change. A mask of confusion set on him. I knew what he was thinking.  
  
At that Logan reached over and grabbed the telephone.  
  
"Hey Grant...er... listen I need you to postpone my trip back." Logan never took his eyes off me as he said that. He stood there, steadfast and stubborn.  
  
"Till when?" He walked over to me and placed himself inches from my face.  
  
"Indefinitely."  
  
Chapter 7  
  
When I heard that, my shock went through my whole body and I felt the tears well up.  
  
He continues his conversation, "No, there's no problem. Just that something was stolen from me. Anyway, I'll call you back."  
  
Logan switched the telephone off and set it on the counter behind me, his hand brushing against mine as he did so. He moved closer still.  
  
"Something was stolen from you?" I inquired.  
  
"Ya, my heart...I don't know why because I would have given it willingly anyway if that person let me." He replied.  
  
I looked into his deep blue eyes as he took my hands and kissed them. A part of me wanted so badly to close the gap between us and hold him endlessly.  
  
"Is that why you're staying?" I asked almost afraid of the answer. "Something like that...besides, I got to prove to someone that she can be loved, that she is loved and that she'll always be loved." As he finished his sentence, he held my face in his hands and lowered his lips to mine. He placed a soft kiss and rested his forehead on mine.  
  
"You know, Manticore said you were perfect under a microscope. Well I didn't need a stupid microscope. The first time I looked into your eyes, I knew you were perfect. You are perfect Max, with all your so-called flaws. You are perfect Max, when you can't cook, when you lose your temper, when you kick ass, when you just exist! I feel in love with you. I love you so much and I'm not going to leave you even if you threaten to kill me yourself. I know you are terrified of relationships and I know you are terrified of loosing someone you love, I am too. But Max, I love you just too much to even let you go. I love you Max. Please love me back."  
  
I searched for an answer in myself. I loved Logan more than life itself! Placing my hands on his and whispered, "I love you Logan."  
  
Logan showered Max's face with kisses before he finally placed his lips over hers. They kissed long and tenderly, so much passion and love they had hidden away just flowed out. They knew that absolutely nothing in this world could ever separate them.   
  
The End 


End file.
